Current Mood: wtf..

..is the obvious and criticism on physical appearance.

Don’t get it?
Ok look here mister. We pregnant ladies are not having it nice and easy. We have to go through hard sleepless night. We have to go through the back pain and swelling here and there. We have to wake up and look ourselves in the mirror every morning wondering will we ever get that old body of ours back after we gave birth. We have a hard time trying to find clothes to wear that would make us look pleasant and nice. And sometimes we have to go through all this raging hormone imbalance in our body which makes us not ourselves. Thus…

We certainly DO NOT NEED people to come up to us and say “OH MY! LOOK AT HOW BIG YOUR TUMMY IS!!!”
Duh.. it’s supposed to grow bigger ok. Don’t say as if the size is supposed to stay the same for the next few months. A BABY IS GROWING INSIDE HERE DUHHH!!!
So DON’T comment about the obvious…

We certainly DO NOT NEED people to come up to us and say “OH MY GOD YOU LOOK AWFUL SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU!!!!”
My dear, when you’re pregnant you just can’t help feeling too tired and care less about your appearance.

And We MOST certainly DO NOT NEED people to come up to us and say “OH MY! YOU LOOK SO OLD IN THOSE MATERNITY DRESS!!!”
~_~ Fookyuu!! As if I had to look GOOD for you!! UP YOURS MUTHAFFFF—–…. *cooling down cooling down* Look buster, some people just don’t feel like spending their money on extravagant pregnancy clothes and they just opt for hand-me-downs from their mom and aunties. I’m one of those person, okay. A cheapskate. Whatever you want to call it.  Because I think it’s rather than spending the money for MY clothes which I only be wearing for a short period of time, I’d rather spend the money for my baby’s clothing and baby needs.

Enuff said.
So if you don’t have anything NICE to say to a pregnant lady, keep your criticism to yourself or just shove it up yours.

p/s: Every once in a while, it’s nice to hear someone saying how good you look with that growing belly. Even if it’s just a lie. We don’t care. We just need some soothing spots.

Hi!
Long time no see. =) Feeling depressed lately?
I hope not.

*sigh*

Have you ever felt that there is a [reset] button for you to press that could make you start over your life from any point you like? Well… I wish there was such a thing. Hmm… I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About work stuff, about my personal interests, about where I am standing now and where I should have been standing if I took a different path on a crossroad I met with a long time ago. Anyways, I just read a journal entry from a fellow online friend. I kinda look up to her in certain aspects because I feel like we have some things in common, and she’s a year older than I am. We’re both female who studies architecture (I’m in UiTM while she’s in UIA), we both draw anime-manga-stuff (but she’s way wayyy better than I do and is well known online for her talent), and I just got to know that she got married recently too! The thing is, she pursued her career in architecture. She further her studies abroad and is on her way of becoming a lecturer. She has even designed and built her own house to live in with her husband. For me, that is one thing I used to thought I could do, but instead I am nowhere near that now.

Did I regret pursuing my career that makes me do the things I like? Well, nope. I just wished I had worked harder, and that this particular career has a better prospect to get more recognition from the masses in this particular country. Sadly, I don’t think it’s even possible within my time frame. Though, the potential is there and that the government does give monetary support but it’s a bit slow and I don’t really know if it can catch up to a point that making it as a long term career. I even get to see smirks on people faces when I told them I’m working as an animator with a 12 hour job with [this] amount of payment and [this] much of benefit from the company. Sometimes it makes me happy that some people DO actually recognize animators as an actual job, but it irks me when they asked me…
“Oh, so ko kije kat company sekian sekian kat shah ala ni la ye?? yang buat cite 3D sekian sekian tu?”
“err.. tak. aku kije kat company sekian sekian kat puchong. ktorang buat 2D animation je”
“oh? 2D je?” *insert smirked face*

yeah rite whatever…

I think I am standing at another crossroad here. Whether I should go back and revert to become another normal working citizen with a normal working hour that can cope up with a normal growing family, or just pursue and give it all I’ve got to this uncertainty?
I envy my online friend there.
She’s enjoying what she’s doing.

I am losing it.

Give me back the pleasure of doing the things I like! PLEASE!!!

p/s: I am now 6 weeks pregnant and not feeling too healthy…

Current Mood: like I give a damn.. & like I give a damn..

Do whatever heck you want for all I care. Be cynical, be childish, be free in your own captive world. You are just not even worth my time to think about. “What’s past is past” my foot laaa, you blardy retard.

Drew this about 20 minutes. That’s all the time I have for you, psycho. I can’t believe after all this time you still have the effort to act like how you did.
It really amuses me. Seriously.
haha!

Good night. I’m off to bed.
Thanx to Yaji (who got it from Zeen) for the tips and tutorial on how to do digital lines and shadows. =)

Current Mood: Depressed

Recently, Ah Loong had ordered the ABC Monsters Team (lead by Jing Hui @ Zeen) to stayback everyday till 9pm. We normally go back around 7pm by the way. The reason he asked us to go back home late was because he’s not really satisfied with the ABC Monsters animation and wanted us to do better. Hmm.. by staying back late? Well, ok if we stay back we’d have more time to produce better animation (hopefully) but the dateline for ABC Monsters was tight as it is..

Anyways, yesterday we were asked to stay back a little bit later than usual. Say around 10.30pm. I don’t really mind actually since I also had to do extra two files from Anna, which is quite a long scene. BUT.. whatdaheck suddenly Vincent asked the ABC Team to help him do ammendments for this frickin animation subbed from another company. Turns out, I had to go back after 12am… It’s the latest time I’ve ever stayed back at the office.

To make matters worst, I didn’t realize my phone died on me which makes Ariz and my mom worried sick about me. Haha funny thing is I was wondering why my mum didn’t even bother to call and check up on me. Ironic. Ariz tried calling me since 12.30am and turns out, he drove all the way from Shah Alam to my office to pick me up. Eversince that incident, he had decided for me that I should quit Animasia before we get married.

Hmmm… quit Animasia. I never intended to work permanently there in the first place but I really NEVER intended to quit that soon. I was planning somewhere around September or December. He keep on insisting that I quit the company for several reason I don’t feel comfortable of telling publicly here.

I don’t want to quit. yet… T_T Please, let me gain more knowledge and experience here.. I really love working here eventhough the pay is not that much compared to my friends who’re working as Assistant Architect or Design Architect right now, but I love doing what I’m doing right now. The colleagues are all very nice people too. I felt a sense of belonging. I don’t care if you think I’m talking crap or I’m just living myself in an illussion created by myself. I’m happy here!!

T__________T urgh.. you..

Hey…

Haha I know CF is over for a week now, and as always I wanted to update earlier but wasn’t really bothered about it that much till recently. I read reviews and comments regarding the event and most of them agrees that this year’s venue is a very nice venue indeed. Spacious, comfortable walking space, airy, and hey, personally I think the table arrangement for doujin booths are quite nicely done too since it’s within the crowd circulation area. But the tables are a little bit too long and during the first day I felt somehow.. cold and lonely becauseof the distant feeling. O_O; hehehe.. or maybe it’s coz Ariz wasn’t there on the first day. meh!

Sales was quite good. We managed to finish all 50 copies of doujin in two days. But the feedback from the readers was not really that good. T_T Yeah I didn’t manage to finish my comic. Mecha only managed to send in pencil work comics. Only Kitsin finishes his 30 page manga on time. heck that’s 30 page man! If he doesn’t contributed his comics, our doujin would totally be EMPTY. Hmm.. and seriously I didn’t expect a lot of people would look forward to read my comic continuation. =A= I have let you guys down…

I don’t have a concrete reason for not submitting my work. Yes, I don’t. The only reason was laziness and no mood and I was morally down. That’s not really a reason. It’s more of an excuse. yep!

I don’t want to make anymore empty promises. We’ll just see next year. argh! I hate this..

CF2008 pictures? Man I don’t even had the mood to snap pictures this year. ~_~

It’s getting thinner and thinner…

And not to mention my stomach skin is thinning too. I suffered from gastric and diorhea this morning. Couldn’t get out of bed. My whole body aches (it’s been aching for the past 2-3 days) and every morning I woke up I felt like I’ve been in a fight. Damn whole body aches and stings!!!

Hmm… turns out my brother also kena cirit-birit. My boyfriend who went back to Seremban to visit my grandma also kena cirit-birit. =A= grammmaaaaaa…. what did you put in the foooooodddddddddd….. aaaaaaahhhh… no more spicy food for me.. I guess…

~_~

watched Gurren Lagann just now. All I can say is.. haha.. haaa…

Hmm.. I’m missing someone who doesn’t care. *sigh*

Current Mood: Depressed

First of raya had just pass. This is the first year I’m giving out duit raya to my cousins and siblings. It felt kinda good being able to give out money, even though I don’t earn much. It kinda makes me feel happy seeing their surprised faces when I handed out the green packets. The most priceless moment happens when they say “Thank You”.

=) I’m glad.

Just arrived from Taiping. Will be heading to Seremban tomorrow. I just calculated my expenses for this month. I’m not left with much. I had to pay extra this month for the printer servicing and this domain’s yearly fee. *sigh* I have to cut my lunch and dinner a bit this month too. Thinking of fasting for 2 weeks or so. Yep. Save money and to repay my debt also.

*sigh*

Checked the CF ticket price. Gila. Mahal. And they call themselves the non-profit organization. Sponsorship not enough to cater for free entry? Or atleast RM5~RM7 is still affordable. RM10 is ok. But still a pain in my wallet. =”= Urgh… CF also got inflation? Siao!